“It is not enough to be non-racist, we must be antiracist.” – Angela Davis.
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| With a group of friends in Oxford a few years back, when we met Angela Davis! |
On the date of this post’s publication, one-third of a year has passed since a black man lay on the ground, his neck crushed under the weight of the knee of a white police officer – for eight minutes, forty-six seconds. His name was George Floyd.
Some people have already forgotten about him. I hope you haven’t.
The merciless murder of George Floyd – on a sunny public holiday; his principal aggressor casually kneeling on his windpipe, hands in pockets, awakened an otherwise somnolent world to the reality of racism.
Or should I say, those who had the choice to sleep on this issue woke up with a start. The remainder of the population had been wide awake long before, because for them, racism is not fiction, it is reality.
Nobody selects racism from the spinning wheel
of life and places it on their platter. We do not choose the skin we’re in.
Yet, even in 2020, the colour of our skin has a say in our quality of life – or indeed, our right to simply live at all.
I’ve been speaking about racism for a long time. I’ve been writing about it for a long time. (You can see that by checking my previous blog posts and elsewhere.) But I’ve found that in 2020, a lot more people have wanted to listen – and learn.
This blog post is an attempt to help you learn… What you can do to turn the tide of racism, which has been raging on our world’s shores for far too long. It is not an exhaustive guide. It is just a start. Ibram X. Kendi’s book How to be An Antiracist is a trending read at the moment; I haven’t read it yet but I expect that would provide a much more comprehensive guide.
George Floyd is just one of many black people who have brutally killed by racism. This week, the decision made to charge NO-ONE with the murder of Breonna Taylor, rubs salt on an already gaping wound: black lives still do not matter in the eyes of too many.
1. Make friends with people outside of your race.
I cannot stress the importance of this enough. Only hanging out with people that look like you, behave like you and think like you, narrows tremendously your perspective on life – and your views and assumptions about people different to you.
If you are white and you only have white
friends, ask yourself why. Perhaps you have one black friend – maybe
that is me! Perhaps the few black people you interact with have reached the
level of becoming your acquaintances, your colleagues – and gone
no further.
Why is that? Do you quietly think that if somebody of a different ethnic background enters your social circle, the quality of your cultural exchanges will somehow be diminished? Do you think black people are ‘too loud’? Do you want to stick to meals of meat, potatoes and veg – without the flavours and sensations of “ethnic”* food dancing on your tongue?
So many of the stereotypes that lie at the base of racial prejudice are caused solely by having little to no interaction with the group to which they are assigned. For example, when your daily media consumption portrays black men as ‘dangerous’ and ‘criminal’, the sight of a black man walking down the road is much likelier to elicit a ‘cross the road and clutch my bag’ response if, combined with this media misrepresentation, you have a dearth of black friends. If you actually have black friends, in spite of the fallacious propaganda, you would know that most black people walking down the road are literally just there to – walk down the road.
The benefit of making friends outside of your race isn’t just about proving stereotypes wrong. There is beauty in diversity. Many have yet to realise that everyone gains when there is diversity, not just minority groups. Bringing an array of backgrounds, cultural expressions and thought patterns to the table benefits everybody, just as an array of hues in a painting enriches its beauty.
If you are black or a person of colour of another background: do your friends all look like you? Why is that? Are you distrustful of other ethnic groups, or – are you unwilling to take a step out of your own small world into a wider one?
You are missing out on so much if
you answered yes to any of my questions above. I hope you know it. There is so
much to be gained from stepping out of your comfort zone: take a step into the
wardrobe and you’ll see that your perception from behind the door is very
different from the view on the other side!
2. Don’t assume that all people of colour have to offer you is insight into racism.
Yes, make friends from outside your race. Please do. But do not make friends with people of colour just so that you can tick a box. Nobody wants to be your token black / Asian / *insert ethnicity here* friend.
Yes, I am a black woman and much of my life experience has been shaped by racism. But there is a lot more to me and my story. I do not want to be your friend just so that you can pat yourself on the back and feel proud that you have a black friend in your life who can teach you about racism. Nobody does.
*Reality check: Maybe you think that having a black friend immunises you against racism. Wrong!*
Black people of course are not the only ethnic group gravely adversely affected by racism. Although our stories and experiences are of a different nature, other people of colour have their own stories to tell. They too, do not want to be your token representative.
We are not a monolith. One black person does not represent the views and behaviours of all. And neither is racism the beginning, middle and end of our entire life stories. If you really want to get to know us, stop acting as though the only expert knowledge we have on anything is racism. Get to know us for us.
3. Educate yourself.
This is such an important point that I’ve put it in twice.
Whilst I myself invite friends to have discussions with me about racism, I fully recognise that it is not my job to educate anyone. (Thank you to my friends that have reminded me of this recently.)
I believe that dialogue is hugely important, and I’m very encouraged by the many conversations I’ve been having with my white friends about issues of racism in recent months. I’m grateful that they are coming to me to ask questions and have a heart to learn more so that they can be part of the change.
However, it is mentally and emotionally exhausting for people of colour to do all the educating around racism. Before you ask your black friend / other friend of colour to help you understand their struggle, please do some research of your own. I do not want our conversation about racism to begin with you telling me that you didn’t know racism existed in this day and age! I do not want to start from square zero: use Google (you use it for everything else!) and get to at least square two before we start our racism lessons. Beyond that, read books, listen to podcasts, watch documentaries. There's a lot out there.
A much better way of having a conversation with your friend of colour is to ask them how they are doing after another horrific racist event has taken place. Sharing your outrage with them. Sharing with them something you learned recently in your own private anti-racism education. If your friend is in the mood, they may want to educate you more. But it is not their duty – they already carry the weight that comes with the colour of their skin. You can make their load a little lighter.
4. Practise CAREISM.
One night, a few days after George Floyd was murdered, I couldn’t sleep. (I couldn’t sleep for many days following the murder of George Floyd.) These words came to me in the night-time. It’s at night-time that God tends to drop profound lines in my head. I know they don’t come from me; they land in my head, unsolicited.
RACE scrambled = CARE
be Compassionate - mourn with the broken-hearted.
be Attentive - listen to the oppressed group as they tell you their stories. Be quiet for a bit.
do Research - racism is not new. Educate yourself by doing some research of your own.
have Empathy - don't just feel sorry for the oppressed group. Put yourself in their shoes.
be Indignant - don't allow yourself to become desensitized. Racism is evil. It should make you angry.
Speak up - even when it's uncomfortable. It usually is.
Keep Moving - Keep fighting the good fight.
C
Be Compassionate
I can’t explain to you what it is like to be a black person and see people that look like you being killed, just because they look like you.
It is traumatic.
Check psychological thought on this: it’s called secondary trauma.
We do not just feel ‘sad’ when we see the George Floyds, the Ahmaud Arberys, the Breonna Taylors… (the names are too many to list) being killed. We grieve. We mourn.
If you really want to join the cause of anti-racism, you have to grieve and mourn with us too.
A
Be Attentive
If you are not part of the oppressed group, please be quiet and let them speak about their experiences of racism. If you are white, you will never be black – no matter how hard the Rachel Dolezals and the Jessica Krugs may try.
It is not the delight of any person of colour to talk to you about their experiences of racism (yes, I used the plural version on purpose). When they have reached the point where they can let their guard down and be vulnerable with you, please honour their willingness and be humble enough to know that you are not the expert on this. There is a lot you can learn when you listen.
R
Do Research
I’ve told you about this one already.
E
Have Empathy
Sympathy is not enough. Feeling sorry for people of colour does not make racism go away. Sticking your head through the hole that we are buried in and going back up to your pleasant world, forgetting that racism exists, does nothing to dismantle oppression. Passivity does nothing. Activity is what we need. And that is the difference between being ‘non-racist’ and being ‘anti-racist’.
I
Be Indignant
In my experience, those that never feel a shred of anger about any type of injustice are the ones that are apathetic to it.
There is such a thing as righteous anger. Anger that something is going on that is not right. If you don’t feel angry about racism, you will never feel moved to turn it upside down.
Desensitisation is dangerous.
S
Speak up
Use your platform. Especially if you are white. Believe it or not, a lot of white people in your circle of influence will not listen to us people of colour talking about racism. But when you speak, suddenly, in their eyes, what we’ve been saying suddenly becomes credible. (It shouldn’t be that way, but it is.)
When as a white person, you acknowledge and denounce a system that historically has given you the upper hand… It is powerful. Don’t underestimate the chance you have to channel change.
Black and brown people certainly cannot fight the battle against racism alone.
A person in shackles cannot take off their own chains. They do not have the power to do so. They can cry out; then can gesture to the places where the manacles are cutting into their body – but it is the free individual who has the most power to help them.
What is incredible, is that black people have kept going despite being in chains… I often wonder how.
The more voices we have speaking out, the louder we’ll be heard. Add your voice, no matter what your skin colour. We need it.
M
Keep Moving
The race against racism is not for the faint-hearted. Congratulations to those of you that are still running this race.
‘We shall reap what we sow, if we faint not’.
To be against racism, you must first CARE. And I presume you do care, because you clicked on this post and read to the end. And so you’re already off to a good start. Let's keep going.
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