I’m pro-life. And I don’t see why that’s a problem.

Quite a few weeks ago now at Oxford, I went to a panel discussion hosted by Oxford Students for Life, a society which takes the minority view on issues like abortion and assisted suicide in a very liberal nation. I was very frustrated after the discussion was over and thought of writing a post right there and then as writing has always provided me a form of release – but with the craziness of Oxford terms I didn’t have the time to set aside to write a post. Now I’m on my Easter break, so…

Let me first provide you with the background to explain why I was so frustrated. This panel discussion gave the floor to five women – and these women were all pro-life feminists. Yes, pro-life and feminist. There is no reason why those two words need be incompatible, contrary to one attendee’s attack: “How can you call yourself a feminist and sit up there and say those things?” That was the kind of attitude that annoyed me.

A short while before I made my way over to the event I heard that people were planning to protest about the event taking place. Not again, I thought. The previous term Oxford University had made the headlines yet again, for shutting down a debate (also hosted by OSFL) on abortion because of fears posed to the ‘security’ of students. It was yet another example of how views that differ from the norm get shut down and deemed invalid. On the other hand, the Oxford Union invited the far-right party leader of the Front National in France to speak uninterrupted for 50 minutes and claimed her right to free speech. Double standards anyone? So someone exposed as having racist, xenophobic and Islamophobic views is given one of the most prominent platforms in the world to speak – with little thought given to the pre-existing status of the university as notoriously institutionally racist and a place where ethnic minorities often feel marginalised (don’t get me started on how Cecil Rhodes, the infamous racist and imperialist behind the colonisation of much of Southern Africa , is prized by the university  – there’s a scholarship and a library in his name and all), but peaceful people who want to talk about abortion and why they believe it’s harmful to society are told they’re the ones that are going to cause ‘mental and physical harm? 

Being pro-life means that you value a child’s right to life. Feminism means you believe in the equality of the sexes. I do not in any way see how you can’t subscribe to both those outlooks.

If you’ve followed other posts that I’ve written then you’ll already know why I identify as a feminist. What I’m going to explain today is why I am pro-life: that is, why I don’t believe in abortion. I hope that you will hear me out (or, read me out, as the case may be).

1. ABORTION TAKES AWAY THE RIGHTS OF AN INNOCENT HUMAN BEING.

Abortion is the taking away of a life. That’s usually called murder. But in the case of an unborn child many countries deem termination in a different light. Apparently if you don’t have a voice you don’t count as a human being. Many will state matter-of-factly: “Oh it’s just a ball of cells”. I would argue – and scientific research would validate my stance – that from the moment the sperm cell fertilises the egg cell a life has been formed. And thus begins one of God’s greatest gifts to nature: the gift of life.

2 . IT'S A MARK OF WORRYING INDIVIDUALISM.

I don’t believe in abortion because I don’t believe I have more rights than any other human being. The same affinity that I feel with victimised Muslims even though I’m a Christian I feel with unborn babies – and that affinity is the web of humanity.

Unfortunately however, I feel the individualism that our society prioritises: the ‘me before anyone else’ attitude which revolves around ‘me, myself and I’ means that often the solidarity the concept of human solidarity goes outta the window. Our interests matter more than anyone else’s. So of course in this context our plans to continue with higher education or get promoted at work become more important than an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy. And hey, abortion’s very easy to get nowadays! On average around 190,000 abortions are carried out each year in England and Wales alone. In spite of the fact that technically, the 1967 Abortion Act did not legalise abortion – rather it provided a legal defence for those implementing it – termination is seen as a quick fix for many, with the latest statistics even revealing that many now use it as a form of contraception. The conditions which allow for abortion are ambiguous, with the first being that continuing with the pregnancy involves ‘a greater risk to the physical or mental health of the woman, or her existing children, than having a termination’. 

This is so undefined that many exploit the system citing reasons such as "my friends would get to party all night whilst I’d have to stay at home looking after my kid" as the causal factor for depression. And these are typically young teenage girls who have no problem saying yes to sex, just take issue with the consequence that could come with it. I remember once reading about a girl who by the age of fifteen had gone through with an abortion four times (despite the fact that the legal age of consent in the UK is 16), with one being the termination of a foetus conceived during a one-night stand.

It does seem rather absurd to me that some Oxford students involved in shutting down the OSFL debate some months ago used the mantra ‘my uterus is not up for debate’ as their reason. Abortion is a global societal issue and has real consequences for the mother, the father, society at large – not to mention the tiny foetus whose respiratory and circulatory system gets shut down.

Do you know that 97% of abortions in the UK are funded by the National Health Service? Surely that makes it an issue that anybody paying taxes has a right to discuss.

3. IS IT REALLY PRO-CHOICE?

The people that condemn those like me who take a pro-life stance on the issue insist that we’re being unfair and that we’re not taking into account the genuine difficulties that some women may face that push them to have an abortion. I remember one of the things that really frustrated me at this panel discussion I attended was the complete unwillingness by some who disagreed with the speakers’ point of view to hear them out and mull over what they were trying to say: which, put simply, was that the right to life supersedes any other right and that abortion is harmful to all those involved.

I’ve often thought that ‘pro-choice’ as an ideology was rather unsuitably named. Is it really a choice? We know the embryo in the womb certainly doesn’t have a say in whether or not he or she can be born. But does the mother really have a say? Anecdotes and official reports from the British Medical Association would seem to prove otherwise. I have heard cases of women only being given leaflets on termination by GPs and other medical professionals, with absolutely no information provided about the other option – going through with the pregnancy with adequate help along the way. Young vulnerable women often feel pressured into getting rid of their babies, especially when they are often conscious of the very real possibility that their partners might leave them if they discovered they would have to take on the role of a father. Often women turn up at abortion clinics because they have explicitly been told by their boyfriends that if they go through with the pregnancy then that will be the end of their relationship. Under such circumstances I don’t really see how it’s the woman’s choice.

4. IT PROMOTES DANGEROUS ATTITUDES TOWARDS CERTAIN STIGMATISED GROUPS.

Something that really moved me emotionally as I listened to these pro-life women tell their stories was the recurring theme of termination as being targeted at particular groups already under-valued in society. No-one really talks about it and few people know it – but abortions are disproportionately carried out on foetuses that screening indicates show signs of disability. Babies with Down’s Syndrome and even cleft lips (which can be surgically altered after birth) are deemed unworthy of being brought into the world. This is unbelievably sad and says a lot about our society’s views on disabled people. Shockingly, unlike the termination of any other pregnancy, the abortion of disabled foetuses can be carried out at any point up till birth. Those that disagree with me may say that letting someone who would have an awful life off having to live it is the kindest thing to do.  But who can say what an awful life is? I’ve gone through a lot of things in my life that if you knew the whole of you might be surprised I was still alive (in fact it’s something I wonder at myself, but I have an answer – God has been the strength of my life), but in spite of everything I would say I’m still a very bubbly and happy person and have a lot of things to be thankful for! Why shouldn’t someone born with a severe disability be able to say the same of themselves? Nick Vujicic is a motivational speaker who was born with neither arms nor legs yet has overcome towering difficulties through his faith in Christ and is now happily married with a son! http://www.attitudeisaltitude.com/

Baroness Tanni Grey-Thompson is another example that ‘disabled’ people are very able. She’s a paralysed and wheelchair-bound former athlete who has won eleven gold medals in the Paralympics and has managed to do a lot of things that people told her she couldn’t do (including having a daughter) despite being told by some people that she’d ‘be better off dead.’ I attended a talk she gave on assisted suicide in Oxford not too long ago – and I was particularly struck by her point that ending someone’s life solely on the grounds that their disability affords them a different quality of life only increases hostility to disabled people, who, already subjected to a great deal of discrimination, are now more frequently and more forcibly being told to go and kill themselves. The same can be said of abortion that is carried out to end a disabled foetus’ life, I would argue: the effects will be felt by those who do make it into the world and grow up.

With Baroness Grey-Thompson after her talk. When I introduced myself to her I described myself as "a lover of athletics and a hater of injustice." She approved.

Moreover, as much as science has advanced, humans still make mistakes. One of the speakers at the panel discussion gave a personal account of how her mum had been pushed to have an abortion when she was pregnant with her son as doctors believed he would be born with Down’s Syndrome – but many years on he shows no signs of it!

It’s scary how some people will take things into their own hands when given the power to do so. One of the guest speakers, who works as a paediatrician at Great Ormond Street Hospital, told us of reports that had revealed that many doctors were signing the forms required to be completed before a termination can take place even before they had met the woman involved to assess her mental state – as required by law. Another common occurrence is that often ethnic minority communities are targeted as in need of an abortion and are discouraged from giving birth.

Some in the audience laughed at this suggestion and even declined to lend an ear to the idea as it was further explained. The speaker that introduced this theme spoke about how in the United States, more deprived areas, often populated by ethnic minority citizens, are strategically fitted with abortion clinics – with a disproportionate number in these places in comparison with more well-off parts of the country.  People have noted the roots that the Planned Parenthood association in America has in eugenics.

Racial discrepancies and the targeting of physically impaired babies aren’t the only discrepancies we see in abortion figures. That’s right: girls are also disproportionately targeted for terminations. Ironic really, isn’t it? The same people that tell us that as feminists we should be in favour of abortion are supporting a procedure which has enabled the “disappearance” of between 1,500 and 4,700 females from the national census records of England and Wales  (The Lost Girls) and thousands more in countries like India and China.

Such discrepancies would appear to point to evidence of the belief that some people are more worthy of living than others. This is an incredibly harmful position for a society to take.

5. HARM TO THE MOTHER AND OTHERS

Few people broach the issue but it’s clear that abortion often results in serious damage to the potential mother. The physical and mental damage suffered by the mother as a result of termination, I would argue, often exceeds the physical and mental trauma that the pregnancy itself may bring on. 

Over the years I have read distressing stories of women who went through with abortion and have regretted it deeply ever since. Post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and clinical depression are some of the many emotional hardships that women face post-abortion: the grisly image of their babies being grabbed at and dismembered by the doctor’s forceps is too much for them to bear. Women who go through with abortions are up to six times more likely to commit suicide.

Everyone talks about the ‘quick fix’ that abortion provides without talking about the multiple injuries that it engenders. The doctors that hand women leaflets on termination but not on the support available during pregnancy or the possibility of adoption tell them that they will feel no pain, the process will be over quickly, the baby’s just a ball of cells, and at their age it is the best thing for them to do. In my view these are all a bunch of lies. The abortion procedure can very often go wrong and can be painful for the woman. Here’s one American woman’s account of her distressing experience: ‘The nurses caused me to bleed, then they called the doctor on call. They told him I came in bleeding, to make it look like I had tried to do the abortion myself. I never even saw the doctor.  I will never forget the pain. When I woke up, I was having contractions like being in labour.  Two weeks later, I had to go to an OB/Gyn because I had a bad infection. He had to cauterize my uterus, which he did without anaesthesia. I remember screaming, and he told me I was making too much noise.’ You can read her story in full here: If I Could do it Over: Silent No More Awareness

People try to hide it but it is a fact that abortion can cause complications which may lead to miscarriages: permanent damage to the uterus is a common result of the procedure. The more abortions a woman has (and many do have more than one), the more her fertility reduces. As well as infertility, sexual intercourse can often become painful for the woman post-abortion.

That’s not to mention the problems that it causes for others directly involved. With the mantra: ‘my body, my choice’, some fathers feel the woman’s word is against theirs and resign themselves to losing a potential child. Although it may not have been their body which had a life sucked out of it, male partners do often suffer from depression after abortion. Relationships are poisoned and often eventually end in divorce. http://www.birthmothers.org/extras/abortion-risks.htm

Studies have even shown that there are even adverse effects for the children that follow an abortion.  Case studies and research indicate that if a mother has had an abortion, this fact will be communicated in one way or another to the surviving siblings. The thought that must earn their right to live leads to thoughts like: ‘Why am I alive, and not my brother or sister? I don't deserve to be alive. I can't enjoy life when I know that my parents might have killed me. They arranged for the death of my brothers or sisters, who were probably better than me.’ Sibling Survivors

As well as the immediate family, abortion harms all. It shows a flippant attitude to the preciousness of life, where it is no longer seen as a gift, but instead a burden which we should be able to rid ourselves of as we like.

6.  CHILDLESS COUPLES ARE ALL AROUND.

This attitude is particularly upsetting for couples who long to have children but cannot due to genetic problems which may leave them infertile. It seems ironic really, that millions of children are being killed off before they’re born every year whilst there are loving couples who would give their right arm to be handed the gift of a child. In the United States alone, there are around 2 million infertile couples waiting to adopt. Studies show that for every one child put up for adoption, there are thirty-six couples.

I know what you might be thinking: That’s all very well and good Ruth, but what about rape? Surely you don’t expect a woman to have to go through carrying her rapist’s child? I don’t pretend that this is an easy thing to do: we all know that rape is a vile act and having a constant reminder of such a horrific event is not something I would wish upon anybody. But as the speakers at the panel discussion I went to emphasised, abortion is harmful to all those involved. The effects that may follow an abortion could well be worse than the act of rape itself. Adoption provides a way for the woman to give her child a safe home without having to handle the hurt that comes with rape. But some women do more than just have the child – they go on to raise the child that has resulted from their violation and see that child as a beautiful thing to have come out of a horrible time.

I was deeply moved by this story I read – written by a girl who was conceived through rape: http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/testimonies/testimony.aspx?ID=1154. I’m sure you will be too.

A harrowing phenomenon which no-one really seems to consider is the cases of abortions that don’t go as planned.  As in, the babies survive. Shockingly, health services typically leave the babies to die in such cases – there have been cases where new-borns have been left in dark rooms and survived for as long as 22 hours but have been ignored as they cry at the top of their lungs for human aid. Then there are the other cases – where the dark shadows have been conquered by a light has come in the form of a kind soul who wants the child to live. I would recommend that you read this story, written by an abortion survivor. http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/testimonies/testimony.aspx?ID=2208

7. LIFE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING.

I’m pro-life and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you for taking the time to read this and not shutting me down. 

Edit: 30th Dec 2016 - Yesterday I came across these deeply moving chats about abortion, and I would highly recommend that you take a look at them:

Part 1: https://youtu.be/KrwScF89zWk

Part 2: https://youtu.be/trmAhxYAKPo

So here’s why I don’t drink…

Before you start reading I’ll just take a moment to remind you that the writer is someone that dares to be different. Right, so now we’ve got that clear, I’ll tell you why I choose to do what almost no other nineteen year old in the United Kingdom would choose for themselves – I live a teetotal life. That means I don’t consume a drop of alcohol. I don’t drink.

If you didn’t already know, Britain is one of the countries worst affected by binge-drinking. ‘Getting drunk’ is a pastime like playing football. I’m not exaggerating: I’m a university student and I can tell you I see alcohol in its worst light on a weekly basis. ‘Pre-drinking’ is a thing: that’s when people drink copious amounts of alcohol in the corridors (and make a big mess and a lot of noise in the process) BEFORE heading to the clubs where they drink more still behind the bar.

Some 40,000 people die each year in the UK alone due to alcohol-related problems. A&E services are clogged up with intoxicated men and women (and boys and girls – under-age drinking is rife over here) each week, talk less of the domestic abuse and street brawls that ensue – which can lead to murder – as a result of drink.

1. Health

Health concerns seem the most obvious reason to stay away from the bottle. We all know that alcohol poses a plethora of serious threats to health. The list of complications that can be born from alcohol consumption is way longer than my arm: there’s brain damage; liver disease; multiple cancers; increased infection; high blood pressure; pancreatitis; stomach problems; seizures; cardiovascular disease; reduced fertility; depression; anxiety… And there is of course the danger of foetal alcohol syndrome for the unborn child. So it seems obvious why I would choose not to drink alcohol really – I value my life!

Remember that saying: ‘Your body is a temple’? That derives from the Bible, which says, ‘Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own […] therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.’ I reckon the Holy Spirit deserves a much cleaner temple than one blotched with liquor. 

2. Loss of Self-Control

As obvious as it is that alcohol can be lethal health-wise, of recent that has actually not been the main driving force behind sticking to decision to be teetotal. Rather, it’s been seeing my friends drink and watching the unimaginable change that comes over them as they bezzle the booze. They go from articulate, intelligent people to kids with slurred speech. Inhibitions are lowered. I’ve found myself in some rather awkward situations where guy friends have forgotten about that social rule which treasures personal space and have actually made me feel quite uncomfortable. When a guy has had a bit to drink he’s much more likely to start touching you up. Decreased cognitive functioning caused by drinking means people don’t make decisions with the same clarity as they would were they sober. Sexual assault and rape are common after-effects of inebriation. So are domestic abuse and homicide.

Some effects of alcohol are more sobering than others. Some people just behave stupidly. Like, they start dancing like maniacs or they chatter absolute rubbish.  Sometimes their behaviour is a bit more deviant than that… Examples: running in front of a car; stripping completely naked in a public place; shouting nonsensical things at 100 decibels… I’ve had a couple of unpleasant experiences at uni where drunk people returning from a late night out clubbing have tried to get into my room. The first time it was two guys who decided that they wanted to bring people cookers from the nearby kitchens as a very strange 3am present. The second time the dude that lived a floor above me was so drunk he couldn’t tell the difference between his room and mine. That was at four o’clock.

I may be a pretty weird person on a day-to-day basis but I like to be in control of my weirdness. I like to know what I’m doing and be in charge of my thoughts and actions. And so I steer clear of drinking.

Some people tell me that they know their limits and will only get a bit tipsy and then they know to stop. But really I haven’t seen any evidence of this in real life. Most of the time my friends have absolutely no recollection of their behaviour the night before they got drunk – other than that they woke up fully clothed on their bedroom floor (or on someone else’s floor) with a splitting hangover. They don’t remember the things they said or the way they talked or how they walked. But apparently they had a good night.

What’s my point? My point is, how can you know when you need to stop when drinking completely clouds your judgement and your memory? Can you really remember once you’ve had a few that you’ve already downed four alcoholic drinks? Do you even care by that stage?

As someone that’s consistently sober at social gatherings I notice the changes in the behaviour of those that I know well – and I dare say they don’t. 

3. I don’t need to drink to have fun.

A lot of the people I speak to about my decision not to drink stress that drinking is just a social activity. Here in the UK it’s standard to go off to the pub to have a drink with your friends. Drinking makes you more confident and that bit merrier, they tell me. Do you know what I think of that? Genuinely I think it’s sad. Why should a person feel inadequate and unable to have a good time with their friends without first having had a glass of wine – or something stronger?

I think this excuse is all down to social pressure. Few people want to be the only sober person at a party. And I can understand why; I think I’ve already explained in enough detail how distressing it is for me watching my drunk friends become different people right before my eyes. But honestly I can tell you, when I have no need to worry about one of my friends, I have a great time even without gulping down the strong stuff. I love spending time with my friends because they’re lovely, interesting and funny. We can joke together, recount stories and have a good laugh: and not one of those activities has to be coupled with drinking.

Recently at my college in Oxford I proposed that we should have non-alcoholic “posh” drinks at our formal dinners as well as the red and white wine that is served – typically the only other option available has been water. I appreciate that having a glass of champagne can make an evening seem more special – I just prefer my spruced-up version to be a good glass of Shloer or Valentino! Good old grape juice. I’m glad to say the motion was passed unanimously and hopefully formals will have those options on their menu cards soon!

4. My money can be better spent elsewhere.

I don't pretend to know the figures for how much alcohol can cost you in a week but I know it's a lot. Ironically, the same students that protest (within reason) about tuition fees being ridiculously high are prepared to while away their cash on the booze. I'm a student and we're always poor. I don't need to make myself any poorer.

Plus, the cost in terms of time lost as a result of drink is something else to bear. Reports show that almost 15 million working days are lost each year in the UK due to alcohol-linked problems. That's usually because the employee or student has a hangover and can't get out of bed.

5. It smells bad!

I’m being serious – that stuff stinks! Stand next to someone with alcohol breath and tell me you don’t agree. OK so technically this isn’t a reason I don’t drink – I’m already put off it – but just the smell seems enough of an explanation. I’ll tell you a true story which demonstrates the extent of my antipathy for that smell.

In the queue for supper at my college, where all meals containing alcohol are usually marked with ‘ALC’, one evening I served myself a sort of creamy sauce. I wrinkled up my noise suspiciously before serving it but as there had been no signal that it contained alcohol I poured it generously over my meal. But the whiff of that odour was so poignant that I still asked at the till just to make sure it didn’t contain any alcohol. The catering manager himself wasn’t sure and he went to ask the chef – after which I was informed the sauce (and the only other available sauce) both had alcohol in them. The catering manager kindly offered to serve me another dish without the sauce.

Now I know what you’re likely thinking at this moment – My gosh Ruth that was so OTT! You know you can’t get drunk on a bit of white-wine based sauce! I know – I’m not that naïve – but it is saying something that I could have noticed the smell of the alcohol (which people usually say is all burned off during the cooking process) in a sauce that has been left for some time to simmer on the hob. Frankly I just dislike the idea of drinking alcohol so much that even a few millilitres of it would be too much for me.

It’s certainly an anomalous stance to take but I take to the teetotal life! It’s better for my emotional and physical well-being and moreover, I believe God prefers it. (For those that have been mulling over the account in the Bible where Jesus turns water into wine, this is a very interesting read: http://www.johnhamelministries.org/wine_lie_Jesus.htm).